INVESTING STRATEGY
How to tell your spouse you have over a million invested
Bit of a odd question here but, I’m in a fairly new relationship (just ticked over six months together) and the topic of finance and investing has come up a few times. I want to gently encourage her to begin regular investing, we set up her Pearler account (yet to engage auto invest *sigh*) and I’m not sure when the best time to talk about *my* portfolio is. I set up my investing for a long time frame, but have been thinking about using some of my shares to buy (and pay off) a small acreage with the idea of that’s where I’d like to settle down and raise kids. I met her maybe six months after ‘FIRE-ing’ and have told her I vaguely have an online blogging business that I work on every now and then, and she enjoys the more relaxed lifestyle pace. she is about to graduate her Post grad degree and works in medicine so I expect next year her workload to increase… unless we end up with a baby on the way 😅🤰 We are on the same page about eventually wanting a family and she likes the idea of the property. She also comes from a very wealthy family (that live overseas), but I kinda feel like being from a wealthy family she’s not that phased by money or investing. I want to gently encourage her to start long term investing so when I do talk about it with her, she understands the investments are one of the main income sources for early retirement. She knows I’m into investing but doesn’t know the extent of having several million dollars in various investments (shares, ETFs, property, superannuation, websites) and I’m a bit scared to reveal the situation lest it change our relationship somehow? Any advice? Anyone been in a similar situation with family or partners? For the record my family also does not know about my investments
7 Comments
over 2 years ago
Oh boy, this one is tricky. Probably no easy way to approach it and no right answer. Here’s my two cents…
Given she’s from a wealthy family, that probably lowers your risk of an odd reaction if you tell her the situation. On the other hand, as you point out, if she’s not interested in money or investing because she knows there’s plenty in the background if she needs it, then it might be really hard to convince her of the value in investing (why bother working out if you already have muscles under your shirt? lol bad analogy but you get the idea).
To be honest, it’s still pretty early days man so she probably doesn’t need to know the entirety of your wealth. But you can at least share a bit of it to gauge the reaction, and then maybe open up a bit later from there. If she kind of shrugs shoulders at the initial info, then don’t worry about sharing the rest. If she’s genuinely interested, then share a little more as time goes on.
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Replyover 1 year ago
6mo is NOT that long. Have you met her family? I don’t see why you need her to start investing or even be on the same page as you. It’s early days. If she’s interested she’ll ask but she sounds like she’s got her own career/finances sorted. I’d wait till things got more concrete in the relationship before disclosing my financial situation.
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Replyjohn ng
INVESTOR
12 months ago
Don’t mention it until u get married. It’s extremely private information. Just like ur phone password or debit card PIN, or national security information.
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ReplyHe-Man
INVESTOR
9 months ago
Captain, how did this go for you? I fear for your wealth if you tell her intimate details of your wealth so early. If you start helping her invest, become co dependent you’re suddenly at risk of loosing half to a defacto divorce if she laid claim in a break up.
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ReplyCynthia k
INVESTOR
6 months ago
Wow, I normally learn from Captain Fi and hardly know that captain Fi need suggestions. :)
1, Personally, I don’t think that you need tell her any detailed at all unless you decided to get married stage.
2, 100% sure do prenup agreement. Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
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